Lawyer Meh?

I was asked this question before, “why you want be a lawyer”.

Why ask wei? Hello, It’s up to me la bro.  What I want to be and how I want to be none of your business. Did I ask you any money for that?

I gave frank answer to my lecturer in 2001. I want to make money la. Apa lagi...He gave me a frank answer too “I don’t want to see you being handcuffed for that”. We smiled.:)

(Don’t tell me you want to be a law lecturer because of your love to the profession. What utter nonsense!)

On a more serious note, becoming a lawyer is a must for me.  I take “No” as an answer. I can’t be a pilot although it crossed my mind. I had to let it go down to the drain because my math sucks.

Pursuing a degree in Education at USM was my last choice in my UPU application. To be a teacher is most sought after job in my kampung then. Most of my family members from my datuk’s side are teachers with excellent academics credential. I don’t want to talk about my nenek’s side. What I can tell you most of them are most sought after crooks!

It’s true. The whole truth nothing but the truth. I got down to my knees and kissed the floor when I was offered to do law in University Malaya.  Had to pay my “nazar” for that too you know.  I can’t imagine what would happen should my application rejected as I had yet to learn and deal with rejection.  Should I say, “I reject your rejection”.

Lawyering is in my DNA since I was a kid. I became my own lawyer when my father (being the self appointed Judge) trying my case for all sorts of charges brought forward by the top prosecutor of Mother’s Chambers. I (together with (br) other which is still at large) became frustrated more and more with the system. Until today I still believe there is conspiracy between them. The more I wanted to talk, the more they were shutting me down.  Despite my 2^nd Class law degree, I never win any case before my father. I wonder why?

 

Being a lawyer made me believe that I am a better guy and one step ahead of others. I can simply tell you not to mess around because I’m a lawyer (Like a big deal).  Lawyer means respect. I don’t need to earn it as the honor is already there. It may sound absurd and silly but trust me. Be a lawyer and you will know it.

Lawyer is one of the best professions in the world. You don’t have to worry of how to look professional in less than 5 minutes when you are lawyer (as long as your black blazer is with you). Most probably I would win most hated guy award if I act and dress like a lawyer all the time.  It is difficult not to hate somebody who is “perasan bagus” all the time.

He says, “Veni, Vidi, Vici”.

They say, “Act like lawyer, Dress like Lawyer, Think like a whore”.

To be continued (if any)

Best Regards,

Rb

Si Pengampu

1.            Sebenarnya idea untuk menulis isu tentang pengampu ni datang secara tak langsung  daripada Ajim, anak kecikku yang berumur lebih kurang 19bulan. Asalnya, isu awal yang berada dalam fikiran adalah berkenaan politik semasa dan berkenaan satu artikel yang aku baca yang mana menyamakan orang makan gaji sama seperti haiwan peliharaan. Berat sangat kan.

2.            Memang benar kata orang, idea menulis datang tak kira masa dan tak kira keadaan. Dipendekkan cerita, dalam aku tengah marah-marah, ajim yang tengah “nakal”tu datang memeluk kaki dengan pandangan mata puss in boots dan dengan muka anakku sazali berkata sehabis lembut seolah-olah memujukku “abah-abah-abah” berulang kali. Terus aku tak jadi nak marah.  Tetapi berdetik dalam hatiku..Ajim mesti dah bagi signal “berhati-hati dengan pengampu”.  So, apa lagi! boleh start “menggoreng”la.

 

3.         Sedar tak sedar memang banyak pengampu sepenuh masa di sekeliling kita. Kadang-kadang kita sendiri juga sering mengampu walaupun tak sepenuh masa. Tetapi yang memeningkan  apabila kita boleh kenal pasti pengampu tegar ni.

4.         Ada baik dan buruknya mengampu ni. Baiknya mengampu pada aku ni ada satu je iaitu kalau pandai mengampu banyaklah “baiknya”.

5.         Yang buruk pasal Si Pengampu ni pula pada pendapat aku sangatla banyak. Misalnya:-

·         Boleh mendatangkan marah pada si pesaing yang tak reti sgt nak mengampu atau menjeleskan pengampu separuh masa.

·         Si pengampu boleh datang dalam pelbagai rupa dan tak kira tempat walaupun Yang kena ampu tak bersedia dengan ampuan.

·         Pengampu ni pada dasarnya nampak “very innocent”. Kalau tak berhati-hati.. Si kena Ampu boleh silap langkah. Silap haribulan boleh hai Hai Bye bye.

·         Si Pengampu akan terus mengampu Si Kena Ampu selagi mana dibiarkan. Sekiranya ini berlarutan maka Si Pengampu akan berjaya mendapatkan 1st Class PHD  dengan mudah. Paling Hot Doh!

·         Si Pengampu mengampu tak kira ada kepentingan atau tidak. Tujuan utama mudah..untuk mengambil hati Si Kena Ampu.

·         Si Pengampu sering beroleh kemenangan walaupun ampuannya secara sedar diketahui.

·         Si Pengampu sering cuba menyalahkan Si Pengampu yang lain.

(please note that the list provided should not be regarded as exhaustive)

6.            Memang banyak Si Pengampu yang kalau boleh aku nak “rembat”. Tapi terlalu banyak “tapi/hati” yang perlu dijaga. Itulah yang menyebabkan pemegang PHD banyak yang argue “qui tacet consentire videtur= he who is silent taken to agree”.

7.         Si Pengampu ni umpama kanser. Sekali merebak sukar untuk diubati. Akhirnya ramai yang terkorban dan berkorban. Mungkin satu je ubat yang boleh mengubatinya, “Jauhi Si Pengampu Sejauh Yang Mungkin”.

8.         Aku tinggalkan ruangan ini dengan satu petikan kata-kata aku  perolehi di internet. Mungkin relevan mungkin tidak.

“TO KISS ARSE IS HOW PEOPLE REACH HIGH POSITIONS AND PLACES”

- James Whitaker Column: Dear James by The Mirror (London)